Pick Something

Today I am wishing I could pick something and do it really well.  I feel like I do many things okay, but nothing really well.  I see all these wonderful things that my friends (and by friends I do mean my friends because they have amazing talents, but I also mean my cyberfriends that exist in the world of Pinterest) can do and everyone that has these wonderful skills.  I feel like I am always doing things half-assed...which is possibly the most annoying thing I can think of.  These are some of the skills I would like to fully develop/do until I became really good at them so I could see where they could go:

• Baking
• Cooking
• Sewing
• Organizing
• Gardening/Veggie Growing

I would also LOVE to have something like this actually produce income for my family...yet again, I feel as if I am not contributing to the bottom line of the family.  I know I am because being a stay-at-home mom is one of the hardest and also rewarding things I have ever done, but it does not help pay the bills.

I also have the volunteering options in my life...at church, at Tommy's new school and anything else I can get my hands on.  I do love to volunteer, but my problem is that I cannot say no (even if I am in over my head).  So I worry when I volunteer that I will get in over my head and be miserable - which then in turn makes people around me miserable...

Humph...I guess I will just keep plugging along and have faith that I will find the right direction for my life. 

Sorry about the rant, but for some reason I am struggling with this today.

Cheers to struggling because without struggling you cannot figure out the right path!

Jesse Leeper - "Big Guy", "Biggs"

Jesse Leeper was our dog and really he was our first child.  We loved him like a child and he was definitely considered a member of the family.  He had many the nickname, but Biggs was the one that stood the test of time. 

1999ish-May 2012

We adopted him from Mike's Aunt, Uncle and Cousins up in Battle Ground.  It was fate.  It was Christmastime December of 2000.  We were at Mike's Grandparent's house up in Auburn, Washington.  I was telling everyone how much I wanted a dog for Christmas.  Mike was NOT ready to get a dog.  I thought he might surprise me for Christmas, but he was not ready to budge on the dog front.  This is when Mike's Aunt Linda told me this story: 

Mike's cousin Joel, who was attending Pacific Lutheran University at the time, found Jesse.  He called the owners who were on Jesse's collar and they said they did not want him anymore - he ran away too much.  So Joel tried to keep him for a while, but a college living situation did not do wonders for a big dog like Jesse.  Jesse went to live with Joel's parents, Aunt Linda and Uncle Warren. 

Aunt Linda and Uncle Warren already had a dog, but were housing Jesse until they could find a suitable family to adopt him.  I begged and begged Mike to just stop at Aunt Linda and Uncle Warren's house on our way down the road to at least meet Jesse.  Mike finally agreed and we stopped and met Jesse.  Jesse was the most strikingly beautiful dog I have ever seen.  He looked like a husky in appearance, but not necessarily full husky.  Mike said we could think about it.  The wonderful thing about Jesse was he was not a puppy, so he was completely potty trained.

Mike and I headed down the road and had a party to go to in Salem.  I pestered him all the way down to Salem and then I told everyone at the party what a perfect fit this would be for us.  So then they would go up to Mike and say, "Why won't you let Steph adopt this dog, he sounds perfect!?!"  Finally about half way through the party, Mike came up to me and said we could adopt Jesse.  We were headed to Black Butte for New Year's so Mike called Linda and Warren to see if it would be okay if we could pick him up after we were home from the trip.  They said yes and then he was ours.

We picked Jesse up one night in early January 2001 and brought him home to our house.  We took him out onto our back deck and took him off his leash.  We completely forgot to close the door from the garage to the back deck and Jesse took off out the open door.  We used to live close to Terwilliger Blvd (a very large and busy street in SW Portland) and of course as we chased Jesse, he ran closer and closer to Terwilliger Blvd.  We decided to stop chasing him and somewhat "walk" home.  He stopped and followed us...finally we got him home, but needless to say our confidence was shaken.  Were we really ready for this?  Mike kept reiterating, "NO."

Within that first week of owning Jesse, we took him to the vet at Banfield to have him checked out and to get him any shots that he needed.  That is where we met Dr. R.  She is an amazing vet that I am so thankful was with us through Jesse's entire life.  She estimated Jesse's age to be about one and a half years old.  So still puppy in attitude, but not so puppy that he did ALL puppy things. 

We had many adventures with Jesse throughout the years.  He lived in our garage while we were at work when we first adopted him.  Our garage was huge, heated and carpeted (the owner of our house - who we were renting from - used to use the garage as his "gym").  So Jesse had a bunch of space during the day and then he would be in the house with us the rest of the time. 

At one point we were carpooling to work and we would leave my Toyota 4-Runner in the garage.  We drove home one day and could not find Jesse in the garage...it was really strange.  Then we searched the backyard and could not find him there.  We then went back into the garage and realized that Jesse was sitting in the front seat of my car.  I had mistakenly left the back window down in the back of my car and Jesse jumped to the back of my car.  As far as we could tell, he had hung out in the car all day.  He could not get out of the car because the back window was about one foot from the garage door and about five feet off the ground.  Hard to jump in, but nearly impossible to get out.  While he was trapped in the car, he chewed off my gearshift nob and a few CD cases.  He was very happy to get out of the car and I never left my window down again!

Eventually Jesse moved into the house once his puppy tendencies subsided.  He was a great dog, although very intimidating to people who were not dog people.  He would jump up on people pretty much until the last year of his life when they arrived at our house...not because wanted to hurt anyone, but because he wanted to welcome them.

Jesse loved the snow...after all he was a husky.  Some of my favorite times with Jesse was being with him in the snow.  Mike called it his "rollie-pollie" because he would dive nose first into the snow and roll back and forth on this back.

Post "rollie-pollie" just soaking up the snow!

Jesse loved the move to our current house in Tigard.  The backyard was bigger and the walks were better because there is a trail right by our house that stretches for miles.  So when we would get home from work in the evening, Jesse would get his walk.  You could not say the word "walk" around him because he would get so excited his feet would do a "happy dance" and you could barely get his leash on him.

Years passed and in December 2006 we added a new baby to the mix.  Jesse was amazing with Tommy.  While he did not like his crying just as much as we did not like his crying, Jesse was enamored with this little baby boy.

Jesse loved baby Tommy and his Daddy, so never was far from them.

And then in 2009, Morgan joined us and I think Jesse and Morgan were soul mates.  Morgan is our child who LOVES animals and she loved giving Jesse pets and loves. 

Jesse was never too far from the action!  He loved being with the family.

You may remember from my previous posts that Jesse had a growth develop in early 2011.  You can read more about it here.  Jesse ended up having surgery on the growth and it was cancerous.  It was a fast growing localized cancer, so it would come back.  The vet said the surgery was a great time buyer, but we needed to be prepared for the cancer to return.

It was a very long recovery and poor Jesse had to wear a donut on his head so he would not lick the incision.  When he was so drugged up, he did not seem to mind the donut because it acted like a pillow.  But he got tired of it and so did we.  See pictures here.

But then he recovered and was pretty much back to his old self.  He was having some arthritis issues in his back legs, but that was to be expected of a dog his age.  We so enjoyed the last year of his life and really being able to hang out with him. 

In late April this year, I started noticing how hard it was for Jesse to get downstairs in the morning, as well as the growth had returned and was growing rapidly.  He would basically almost fall down the stairs each morning and it was really hard to watch.

Finally I said to Mike I think it is time - he was hurting and we always said we did not want him to hurt.  So May 5, 2012, Mike and I took Jesse to Banfield one last time.  It was very humane, but also very devastating.  He was our first kid and it was so hard to watch him go.  But we reassure ourselves that he is in doggy heaven.  The kids often talk about how much fun he must be having in doggy heaven. 

I think the hardest part of losing Jesse has been the day-to-day stuff that you never think about, but make a huge impact on your life without you realizing it.  He was always at the door to greet us when we returned home.  He was always there if we accidentally dropped food on the floor.  He was always in our room at night, sleeping on the bed (in the early years) and on the floor (later in life, when his jumping ability had declined).  He always had a smile on his face when he saw us.  He was always there for us in every way.  We loved him with all our hearts and miss him every day. 

Tommy and Morgan playing with Jesse and taking him on a "walk"

So cheers to one of the best dogs we will ever know - Jesse we love you!!

Refelctions on Wee Wisdom Preschool

I went to Wee Wisdom for the first time in January of 2010 because of the wonderful recommendation by my friend Heather Wolf.  She raved about this preschool program and so of course I had to check it out. 

At that time, Tommy was attending Day School for Toddlers which was a great program, but it was for kids that were 18 months-4yrs and more of a daycare situation.  While Tommy was at Day School one day, little baby Morgan (4 months old at the time) and I went to visit Wee Wisdom.  Immediately when I walked into Wee Wisdom, I knew it would be a great place for Tommy.  Everyone was so nurturing and the kids were having a great time.  I signed him up on the spot to start there in the fall of 2010.

Tommy was ready for his first day of true preschool at Wee Wisdom in September 2010.

Tommy's first day of preschool at Wee Wisdom

He was in the 3yr old class that attended school on Tuesday and Thursday from 9AM-11:15AM.  This gave me enough time to either attend a Stroller Strides class or teach a Stroller Strides class.  It did not necessarily give me enough time to shower, so I generally picked Tommy up fairly disheveled.  Tommy loved going to school and always wanted to stay longer!  To me it seemed like many of the parents of the kids in Tommy's class had been there before (with their older children) and somewhat knew each other.  I know it does not seem like me, but I was very intimidated by this and pretty much was a wall flower Tommy's first year.  I helped out when I could, but I did have Morgan who at that time was not able to just hang out.  But all in all, it was a great year!  Tommy made some great friends and he was really looking forward to being in the 4yr old class.

In September 2011, Tommy started the 4yr old class at Wee Wisdom.  The 4yr old class was Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Along with school from 9AM-11:30AM, the 4yr old class was able to participate in lunch bunch which was from 11:30AM-12:30PM.  Tommy wanted to stay and eat lunch with his friends and I was more than happy to pack a lunch and have the extra hour...I can really accomplish a lot with that extra hour.  Tommy was so happy to be back at school with his friends and also made some new friends with kids that joined their class. 

Tommy and Morgan on the first day 2011

Tommy, Tanner and Morgan - Look Tommy and Tanner have the same shoes!

Tommy and Teacher Boyd the first day of 2011 school year.

I also was feeling more comfortable as I somewhat knew what was going on and knew most of the parents.  Morgan was also a bit more self-sufficient, so it was easier for me to help out in the classroom.  I stopped teaching Stroller Strides, so that helped in my flexibility of being able to stay and help.  I grew to LOVE this school even more.  I was able to get to know all of the teachers and staff better than I had the previous year.  The more I spent time with these wonderful ladies, the more I realized this was the best possible experience that I could give my child/children. 

Tommy and his friend Sarah harvesting at the garden that they planted in spring of 2011.

I am not sure if it is because I had less going on this past year or if Tommy was at school more, but I felt more and more connected to Wee Wisdom.  Tommy's friendships blossomed and he became really close to both Tanner and Dean (two boys in his class). 

There was also the budding romance/friendship between and Tommy and Isabelle.   It was pretty cute because Tommy talked about Isabelle a ton and I think Isabelle talked about Tommy a lot too. 

Tommy and Isabelle

Every time I came to pick Tommy up, there would be some sort of story about what Tommy had done that day.  Some were funny, some embarrassing, but some were very touching.  Here are just a few of the stories:

• They would play a game in class with the little magnetic letters and they would spell something and then ask what is this word?  Tommy chose the lower case light blue letter "f" and when asked what word the "f" stands for, Tommy said "f" is for Facebook - oops, guess mom is on Facebook a little too much!
• Another time we were asked to bring in grocery advertisements from the newspaper.  They were instructed to cut out as many items as they were old.  Tommy, who was 5 at the time, needed to cut out 5 items.  Tommy cut 5 out in a row because he just wanted to be done - of course the 5 items were beer, wine and other alcoholic beverages...talk about embarrassing!
• When Tommy's class was doing the circus unit, Tommy was very concentrated on winning as many tickets as he could (think carnival games where you win tickets to get prizes).  He did every game he could to win a ticket...I think most of the tickets were from bowling, but regardless Tommy ended up with about 24 tickets. Most of the kids had around 4 or 5 tickets. Time ran out to "spend" the tickets for prizes that day, so the kids were instructed to leave their tickets in their mailboxes.  Tommy left his in his mailbox and the next class time, it was time to redeem tickets.  Well some of the kids had taken their tickets home so they did not have tickets.  Teacher Boyd left the room to get tickets for the kids that had taken their tickets home.  When she came back, she asked Tommy how many tickets he had...he said 4.  He had given his tickets out to his friends that did not have tickets.  Of course when she was telling me this story, my eyes filled with tears because I was so happy my child had been so generous and full of grace.   

Part of the room decorated for the circus day!

More of the room decorated for circus day!

Tommy's years at Wee Wisdom has filled him with such love and respect for his friends, his teachers and his family.  Wee Wisdom is such a warm and caring environment, but the wonderful staff does not let him get away with his MANY shenanigans. 

Tommy at the Children's Museum Field trip

Morgan is dressed in Wee Wisdom wear as well at the Children's Museum Field trip.

The other amazing that happened this past year is I became better friends with not only the staff, but also the other parents/caregivers.  I have made some friendships that I know will last!

Mrs. Boyd, Mrs. Hedin, Mrs. Fillinger, Mrs. Kepner and Mrs. Abeyta, you are all the most amazing teachers and we feel so lucky and thankful to have spent the last two years with you all.  I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for preparing my son to be the best he can be and getting him ready for kindergarten.  We look forward to Morgan's attendance in September 2013 and we will definitely come in for some Wee Wisdom love and playtime throughout this next school year!

Tommy's end of the year picture that says at the top: "there are only two lasting bequests We can hope to give our children: One is roots...The other is wings"

Cheers to an amazing preschool experience which prepares us all for the next step!